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  • Writer's pictureNate Enns

Generational Destruction or Hope

"I was in the supermarket the other afternoon...when I heard a father berating his child.

‘You’re stupid. Hopeless. Good for nothing.’ My heart broke. What could the child possibly have done to deserve that kind of damage?"


Regrettably, such incidents are all too common, and I've encountered them far too often. As the saying goes, 'Hurt people hurt other people.' The impact of our words is immense, as highlighted in the proverb, 'What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so, you must accept the consequences of your words' (Proverbs 18:21).

However, we have the power to break this cycle. Future generations need not endure the suffering we've experienced. Our choices in words and actions can either harm or uplift.

In Osteopathy, there's a theory that examines transgenerational 'lesions,' patterns of trauma or thought passed from one generation to the next. These patterns have both physical and psychological components. If we neglect our physical and mental well-being, we risk perpetuating destructive patterns for the next generation. Self-care is not neglecting loved ones; it's setting an example that breaks this harmful cycle.

Consider those who lack access to the therapies they need, or mothers at risk of losing their livelihoods and possibly their children. Think of foster and adoptive families grappling with the trauma inherited by a child from a different generation, often ill-equipped to provide the necessary therapy. Reflect on the children who have experienced trauma, abuse, and unimaginable hardships, crying out for help in their own desperate way.

We can all contribute to change. By bettering ourselves and seeking the care we need, we can also support those around us who are in desperate need of help. Each of us has a role to play, and this is not a mere 'should do'; it's a 'must do.'

It begins with awareness and a commitment to change. We must recognize that our words and actions have a profound impact, not only on our own lives but also on the lives of those who follow us. Breaking the cycle of pain and negativity demands proactive steps. It entails seeking healing for ourselves and extending support to others. It means acknowledging when we need help, whether through therapy, counseling, or simply a heartfelt conversation with a trusted friend. It means using our words mindfully, especially when addressing our children and loved ones, choosing to uplift and encourage rather than tear down. Advocating for equal access to mental health resources, regardless of financial circumstances, is another crucial aspect. Supporting organizations and initiatives that provide therapy and assistance to those in need is essential.

We all have a part to play in this vital journey of breaking the cycle of pain and suffering. Our own healing and growth are intertwined with the well-being of those around us. By taking proactive measures, we can create a brighter, more compassionate future for generations to come. So, what will be your next step? Will you seek the help you need? Will you offer support to those around you? Will you be a part of this change? The choice is yours, and it starts today.

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1 Comment

Kelli Kuzyk
Kelli Kuzyk
Sep 13, 2023

I grew up with a saying that my Mom used often. You may recognize it. 'You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.' It was always a reminder to mind my p's and q's but also to be kind with my words. Recently our church sign was adorned with a phrase that I hadn't heard before but really resonated with me. 'If you throw dirt, you lose ground.' Words hurt and so does your reputation when you say it. I used this phrase on a social media platform recently when it was clear that some community members were being disparaging to others in a repetitive way with others joining in. I ended my advice with 'You are ent…

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